The Beautiful Juxtaposition: Life Lessons from Living Abroad

The ultimate rollercoaster you can ride? Living abroad.

I am guilty of posting my “Aperol Spritz at sunset” photos, highlights from Milan Fashion Week, or aesthetic cafes, but lately I have been wanting to share more than just the beautiful moments of living abroad. I want to share the reality, and how it is a beautiful mix of the most exciting days of your life and the most humbling ones. 

Two years ago, I moved to Milan, Italy to study my master’s and what I didn’t know was the amount of life lessons I would learn in these two years that would completely change my entire life.

Patience, Pasta, and Perspective — A lesson in the beauty of learning about other cultures

“Do you put ketchup on your pasta?”

Yes, this is a real question people have asked me while living abroad. On the other hand, I’ve also been the person asking questions just like this to my international friends.

I quickly realized that many of us, myself included, base our ideas about other cultures or countries on what we see in the media and movies. This often gives us an exaggerated, and sometimes misleading, version of what life is actually like in a particular place.

One of the greatest gifts of living abroad has been taking the time to truly listen to international friends and to local Italians, as they’ve shared the real beauties and real struggles of their countries and cultures. There is so much depth in learning how different parts of the world live. For that, I am incredibly grateful to everyone who has shared a piece of their culture with me.

A Really Confusing Haircut — A lesson in how simple tasks become complicated

Before moving abroad, I never thought about how all the tasks that felt “simple” back home would suddenly become complicated.

So when it came time to get my first haircut here, I panicked a little. I know what you’re thinking, Milan has plenty of hairdressers. And yes, that’s true. The panic didn’t come from a lack of options. It came from realizing that something so normal back home was now unfamiliar.

No more calling the same hairdresser I had gone to for twenty years and casually booking an appointment. I had to research, read reviews, and even bring my Italian friend along for translation help. (The good news? Now this has become a simple task, and I no longer need a translator.)

So many things were like this at the beginning. I didn’t buy fruit for an entire month because I didn’t know how to weigh it and print the labels. I was terrified of ordering coffee the wrong way. So many small things, but each one slowly built confidence. And eventually, these tasks became normal.

“I’ll call you at 11 p.m. my time.” — A lesson in how distance doesn’t matter in true friendships

My family and friends are my absolute top priority in life, which is why I was naturally worried about losing some friendships when I moved away.

In adult friendships, everyone is busy. Staying in touch already takes effort. Add distance and a time difference, and it can feel even harder.

But what living abroad has taught me is that distance does not matter in true friendships.

Now my phone calls are scheduled around phrases like, “I’ll call you at 11 p.m. my time.” The time difference adds an extra challenge, but the people who are meant to be in your life will always make time, and it’s equally important to make time for them.

Distance doesn’t weaken real friendships. If anything, it makes you more intentional about them.

The Timeline Panic — A lesson in learning that everyone has their own timeline (including you)

During my first few months in Milan, I constantly questioned whether I was doing the “right thing” by moving here to pursue my master’s. I felt behind compared to people my age who were already working full-time.

Then I started meeting people of all ages, all living completely different lives, some earning their third degree, some launching businesses, others changing careers entirely.

And that’s when I realized how ridiculous it is to compare life timelines.

There is no one linear or “correct” lifestyle. There is only the lifestyle and timeline that align with you.

Just because someone has different priorities than you doesn’t mean they’re miserable. And just because you have different priorities doesn’t mean you are.

You become happier when you align your timeline with your goals and passions, not anyone else’s. (And having the privilege to choose that is something to not take lightly.)

Craving My Mom’s Cooking for Two Years — A lesson in gratitude for the small things

Mom, if you’re reading this- I know you’ll love this section the most. My mom makes some of my favorite Portuguese food and lots of other dishes that I have missed so much while living abroad. I know that it is no small act to prepare and cook meals everyday, but I also think this became almost something I was so used to, that I didn’t fully realize how normal it was in my life.

Being away from her cooking is just one example of how I began to appreciate more of the little things in life, and appreciate more of living and enjoying the moment.

Iced Coffee vs. Cappuccinos — A lesson in learning you can have two lives: one that shaped you, one that builds you

When moving to Italy, I traded my morning iced coffee for a cappuccino.

Immersing yourself in a new country or culture doesn’t mean ignoring where you came from.

I will always love my iced coffee. And I will always love my cappuccino.

Living abroad has shown me that you don’t have to choose one version of yourself. You can honor the life that shaped you while embracing the life that is building you.

Both can coexist.

Ciao, Italiano — A lesson in language learning and cultural adaptation

Learning a new language is not the easiest task, and it can be vulnerable, but it is also a beautiful skill. My Italian is not that great, even after two years of living here, but learning Italian has actually taught me a beautiful life lesson- that I don’t have to be perfect at something in order to try it out.

It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay not to know all the grammar. The important thing is that you try, you try your best to adapt to the language and the culture. It can be humbling at times, but I also love seeing growth. Sometimes you just have to begin from scratch and not be so focused on perfection and/or failure. For me, learning Italian has been a journey, and a practice in consistency and adaptation.

Oliva, not Olivia — A lesson in perseverance and patience

The bureaucracy here is not easy at all. Bureaucracy, paperwork, and endless appointments become a part of your new life. I even had a document given to me with my name spelled “Oliva” instead of Olivia and it lead to hours of waiting for it to get changed.

The silver lining in all of this is that you learn patience, perseverance, and resilience. I actually feel like I can adapt to harder tasks, not that I have gone through difficult bureaucracy processes.

Living or studying abroad can sometimes make you feel like you’re torn between two places, one that built you, and one that aligns with where you are going. The most important lesson of it all? You don’t need to have everything figured out, because no one really does!!

Moving abroad makes room for parts of you that you didn’t even know existed. Enjoy the journey! I would love to make a post soon solely about the specific aspects of what I learned from Italy specifically.

Comment down below if you’re living abroad, and if so- what has been your biggest lesson?